I’m a dreamer.

I’ve always been a dreamer.

From early childhood--well before I could read--I would devour the pictures in our 1960’s Encyclopedia Britannica. As I developed my reading skills, my time with these fascinating books only expanded. I’d sit for hours reading text and sub-titles drifting off as I imagined myself on safari, flying strange aircraft, throwing elaborate dinner parties where every utensil was used--all 22 forks. Every day offered a different opportunity to explore and try on something new.

After thumbing through the books, I would run as fast as I could out our wooden screen door that always closed with a “thud” -- giving away my location. Without a care, I’d scamper over the pig pen fence, through the cow pasture, toward the lower part of our farm, where in summer, acres upon acres of golden wheat stood in the field.

I’d stand on the edge of the field, taking in all its beauty--the sights, smells, sounds, feel and taste of the moment. With the golden wheat firmly rooted in the ground as the spikes danced spontaneously and with grace in the gentle breeze.

At first, I moved gingerly, not wanting to damage its beauty...and without warning, my little legs would take off like rockets and carry me into a deeper part of the field where I imagined I couldn’t be found. This spot became my safe space to imagine, improvise, and play with my potential--my future self while appreciating the moment I was in.

Until...it wasn’t. 

Society’s narratives tumble upon us fast. We quickly learn--some sooner than others--there is no time for daydreaming, for imagining what we might become. We fall into a heavy slumber; I call the drift of doing what is expected. We test boundaries but more so to get a reaction. We lose ourselves well before we were ever discovered. Standing blindly upon the precipice.

What might have been if only we had had more time to play within our dreams and formulate a way forward before, we were swept up and swept away in the world of the expectations of others...that eventually may become ours for a lifelong fleeting moment. Because we are all still in the “figuring it out” stage. And while swimming in the vast sea of the unknown, we latch on to the life preserver and do our best to live out the life someone else wanted for themselves; while they stand by and vicariously live their life through us.

This life rarely if ever works. Why? Because we cannot own what is not ours.

We didn’t know any better.

We follow the course that is laid out in front of us by our parents, teachers, and family members. We struggle to orient ourselves in the drift even after we are adults. The imprint of our tribal, traditional, and modern upbringing often keeps us thinking and acting smaller than we actually are. We model what we’ve seen while hoping for a better life, which is exactly what our parents hope for us too.

It may sound bleak.

But it doesn’t have to be.

Studies show that those who focus more on what lies ahead, rather than relying solely on what is occurring in this moment, often shape their lives in ways that make good sense for their future.

“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”  ~Sean Patrick Flanery

We have the ability to remember and recall our dreams from our youth and young adulthood. These powerful reflections and insights signal us toward our passion and toward our purpose for being, not away from them. We only have to stop, listen, and reconnect.

In fact, very successful CEOs and high-powered corporate executives are known for getting caught in the drift...pushing their way ahead forcefully yet feeling unsatisfied without knowing exactly why. The swirl of the power and politics becomes very heavy and laborious. I see this all the time. Secretly, they tell me, that when they are forced to look back, they admit that they feel that they should have achieved more or even wished that they had chosen a different career altogether.

Consider Emily a very successful executive vice president at a large manufacturing company who was frustrated with her career progression. From our initial conversation, she was forthright that after an 18-year career, she was tired of her job, wasn’t fond of her boss or team and felt like she had nowhere to go. She claimed she had tapped out. She was only 48 years old. She felt trapped unbeknownst to her by her own perceived limitations.

As we talked, she began to wonder if she had become so busy with impressing others that she somehow had lost sight of what really mattered most to her. This sparked an exploration and a rediscovery of what she truly cared about. This took curiosity, compassion, courage, commitment, and craft to begin the process of seeing herself as she was while simultaneously imagining her potential.

When we awaken--and not everyone does--from our Wink Van Winkle sleep, we rub the sleep from our eyes, and begin to wonder where time has gone; we wonder if it is possible and if it is how we can begin to stop settling and live a life worth living. It is scary moment when we make this realization. But once we are awakened, we can’t go back to sleep. The genie can’t be placed back in the bottle.

Those that follow these steps have learned how to reconnect with themselves, appreciate all they’ve accomplished while imagining their potential from where they are...while reconnecting with their earlier self and dreams.

It is never too late to begin imaging your potential.

It bears repeating, when we act in a way to please other people rather than having a strong sense of self we are unconsciously seeking happiness and success in all the wrong places. The not so surprising truth is, we will not be happy if we achieve someone else’s goals on someone else’s terms. As Daniel Levinson says,

It is not a matter of how many rewards one has obtained; it is a matter of the goodness of fit between the life structure and the self.

Imaging your potential offers you the opportunity to check back in with whom you dreamt you might be, and to acknowledge and appreciate the twists and turns that have occurred along the way.

But how do we know if you are already living up to your potential?

Ask yourself these 6 questions:

1.    Are you intentional with your actions?

If it is truly important to you--make the time now--and yes, it might mean waking up earlier, setting time aside when you get home or carving out time on the weekend.

2.    When is the last time you took a calculated risk to push beyond the expectations you have for yourself?

It’s easy to become complacent in life. Inertia will take over if we allow it. Planning and taking calculated risks to go beyond builds courage, confidence and expands our creativity to imagine our potential in new and different ways.

3.    Do you feel constricted or free? When you crawl into bed, how do you notice yourself feeling? When you rise in the morning what are your first thoughts, sensations, awareness?

The quality of our sleep is an indicator about how satisfied or unsatisfied we are and whether you are living up to your potential.

4.    If you were to fast forward your life to a few decades from now, do you like what you see given who you are in this moment?

It can be easy--very easy to get caught up in the everyday necessities of taking care of family and parents, grocery shopping, reading emails, etc. And although these tasks are fine, they conveniently push away what is truly important in realizing our potential. Set time aside to be with yourself to imagine and dream about your potential future self.

5.    How do you look and feel? What does the outside say about the quality of your inside? Consider this:

If you are disheveled, out of shape, or fatigued-looking, these factors reflect your inner state of mind. A confident person who feels good about things will be more “open”: shoulders back, back straight, and solid eye contact. Someone who isn’t doing so great, on the other hand, will be more “closed”: shoulders forward, back hunched, and eyes cast downward.

6.    What is your potential?

The word “potential” denotes promise and ability, as if someone can reach great heights if he or she were to apply the maximum amount of effort and determination. Yet we all have constraints, yet we possess a great deal of power in how we choose to work within those limitations.

Unstoppable and successful entrepreneurs and leaders ignite their own success by asking themselves these questions regularly, by dreaming and constantly imaging their own potential. They realize that their “future self” can be more wildly successful than their “current self” and thus the reason they spend time imaging what they might become now, activate now...in this moment.

They develop the ability to “construct more vivid, detailed future selves that encourage them to identify more with their future, that pushes them to take on the stewardship of their present while guiding themselves to attain their goals”. (Daniel Levinson)

“The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones who do.” ~Steve Jobs

Those that identify more closely with their future selves planned their life with longer-term payoffs in mind: saved more, did more, and amassed more wealth.

The conclusion:

Envisioning our future self and feeling deeply connected to who we can become--imaging our potential--guides our behaviors in the here and now, and in ways that create longer term satisfaction and rewards for the life we long to lead.

Here’s to Igniting Success (yours and ours) and living a life less ordinary every day!

Love to hear your thoughts and insights. 

To learn more, go to the “The Book” on Igniting Success website and sign up for an advanced signed copy of my debut book Discover the Matrix: Integrity is the Hallmark of Leadership due out in early 2023.